Beforehand: who wants to make his way to himself, it must be clear that nothing will remain as it is. Change means letting go of the old, so that the new has space. It also means (partial) dying. This process is not something you do just once and then stop. This process is a deep inner decision to a conscious and worth living. We let go of the behaviors that we consciously no longer want for us – this is not an easy process. You do not get this new life, but you decide to do so. Only those who are willing to practice regularly will find their way. The route is the goal.
What is meditation? Meditation means being in the middle or conscious being. Since most of us unconsciously suffer, meditation is an excellent way to make the suffering conscious rather than suppress it. When you get tears in meditation, you do something right. Stay with your breathing instead of letting your emotions tear you away. Best practice several times a day, otherwise the voice in your head will determine your daily routine. Anyone who at some point internalizes again that the voice in the head (thinking) is not himself, has already gained a lot. (I write “again” because little children, who are not yet completely absorbed in thinking, still have this awareness) A meditation should happen if possible with an upright spine and can be very different in length. The more you meditate over the day, the better. The aim of the meditation is to integrate the consciousness of meditation sometime in the “normal state”.
2. Do not give advice or advice to other people.
.. if you have not asked for it. * Always listen to yourself and others. Recognize when you once again only use words to impress. 90% of our communication is ego based, not only superfluous, but even counterproductive. If you observe, we others do this, do not resist, just go over it, for example by being friendly. Pay attention to your language, pay attention to your words. Do not try to talk more than necessary. We need language much less often than we believe. Sometimes we have to talk to understand each other. If we do that consciously and use language consciously, it will transform our lives.
3. Ask the right questions
Questions are door openers. If the unknowing one asks the knower the right question, he may get an answer that will take him further. However, it is not enough to ask a smart question. Only those who can really listen will hear the answer. Sometimes it makes sense not to speak at all. Life can also communicate non-verbally.
4. Follow warm invitations
.. if it feels right. The encounters with people are not only the guideposts of your life. The people you meet and then possibly stay in your life are an essential part of your life. Be respectful to people, no matter what the situation. If life invites you by making a warm invitation to you, be sure to try this invitation.
5. Dance, sing, express yourself.
..if you are fine. Dance and song are universal expressions (also meditations) of our natural form of being, the joie de vivre. If you never look for dancing or singing or any other creative expression, then it is probably so (even if it does not happen to you) that you are very sorry inside. Everyone can do this. It’s not about getting it right, it’s about making it out of it. Even the wheelchair user can dance, the dance can take place completely inside. It is also possible to combine dance, song and meditation.
6. Be open and loving. Look with loving eyes
Greetings people friendly and gentle. Fearless encounter will lead you to incredible places. You do not have to smile all the time, even if the Buddha did that. It’s enough if you have a clear view that is always ready to smile. If you turn your attention to it, you will soon learn the subtle difference between a neutral look that almost smiles and a neutral look that is almost angry. Should you notice that your look is often angry or anxious, try to meditate more and to feel your inner mood on the tooth. Do not be afraid of tears, because ..
7. Do not be afraid of tears
One of the big mistakes that have been inoculated in masses of new generations in this country is the sentence “boys do not cry!” What a dreadful process when this belief is administered to a child and thus helps that child lose access to his pain. We are ashamed to cry in public. This must be imagined! Why are we hiding our pain? Why are we ashamed of our feelings? We do this because we are afraid that the other person (formerly our parents) could react negatively. But if we learn that it does not make us weaker, but rather stronger, to stand by our feelings, we can come more to ourselves. It can be a very healing experience for an adult to cry within a group and instead of receiving rejection warmth, compassion and love. When a person shows their pain, it is an invitation to others to open up, instead of looking away. Do not wipe your tears reflexively when someone enters the room, but on the contrary: stand by your tears, they are beautiful. Like Joseph Beuys said, “Show your wound.”
8. Give a wink
But do it only if it comes from your heart in the moment. A wink or an encouraging nod can give confidence and confidence to another person.
9. Follow your intuition, not your thinking
Your thinking is needed much less than you think. If you catch yourself again, as you go out of the negative, check if this is really your gut that tells you that or maybe your head. Turn your head off as often as possible.
10. Never forget: you are wonderful
Once you have said or done something that was ego based, do not be too strict with yourself. Be silent witness, come back to yourself and lovingly rejoin the present condition. Rome was not built in a day. You can also meditate immediately afterwards to dissolve negative emotions.
11. Take no pictures (or take less).
This point is really hard to implement – mainly because it fits more in the 1970s, today it should almost be: Do not try to trigger your positive emotions via social media. We need to be more than ever present that holding on a moment only ever serves the ego. It is no coincidence that many a Native American tribe photographically vilified photography, because it amplifies the nightmare (that is, the thought-provoking, anchoring in the past and future), instead of promoting the now-experiencing. By the way, the constant “hanging out” in social media is the opposite of meditation. It’s a very unconscious state of being, like watching TV.
12. Always listen to your body
This starts with little things, such as. if you need to go to the bathroom – just go. If you keep for a long time, you get stressed out. Your body knows much more than you think. Do not resist him. Your body is your temple. He needs a healthy diet, exercise and care. Watch your posture while sitting and correct if necessary. Stretch out in between, give your body loving attention.
13. Mastubate without pornographic images
..either on the smartphone or laptop, nor in your head. Only masturbate if your body really needs it. Touch you lovingly and gently. See masturbation as a kind of meditation of self-love in which you devote your time to yourself alone. If you are not able to get going due to your habits (porn etc) then masturbate again when your desire has grown big enough. That will be the case sooner or later.
*) from my good friend Sebastian came the objection: “But your blog is doing just that, or not?” My answer: My blog is a book that lies dusty in a memory. If you find your way there and reach for it, perhaps read a few lines in it – that’s all your own decision. You will not find any neon signs that will take you to this blog, nor will I tell anyone from my blog if the interest does not emanate from that one him/herself.